Sunday, April 23, 2006

Agent Issues, Slush Pile Shenanigans

Whenever Miss Adventure hears the phrase "slush pile," she thinks of a delightful frozen drink with lots of mango and triple sec and tequila and orange and tequila. Slush pile? More like "lush pile."

Miss Snark dives into her slush pile. Herewith are some tales of nitwittery but also tips on how to rise out of the slush bile.

The Tipping Point


FIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO FUCK UP YOUR QUERY LETTER RIGHT NOW


Miss Snark Reaches for the Clue Gun...AGAIN


Speaking of Numbers...


Shred of Evidence

Friday, April 21, 2006

Additions to the Index!

Greetings, Snarklings!

This weekend marks the unveiling of September-December's indexed posts. Hurray! I may or may not wipe out the entire site and repost all of the updated (and new!) categories. So, don't panic if everything disappears on Saturday; it will be back with new pals on Sunday.

Last time, when I sat down and coded the index, it took a full day (eight hours, no shit, friends; that Miss Snark is one prolific Prada-ed lady). I'm starting late in the afternoon, if not the evening, and then I am certain that I can cobble enough hours on Saturday to have this all done by Sunday brunch. Nothing like snark with your croissant. It's better than jam.

So, I have to get to my real job--so stupid, that rent paying!--but I will be chugging away soon.

Happy Snarking,
Miss Adventure

Friday, April 07, 2006

HOW TO NAVIGATE THE SNARKIVES

Welcome to the Snarkives! Currently, all of June, July, and August have been indexed; fall and winter will be added sometime between the end of April and the next presidential election. My broken laptop plus a heavy travel schedule have led to a minor delay in indexing, but soon, a complete Snarkive will be online.

NEW!! Miss Snark's Second Writing Contest added!! Once she declares a winner this weekend (barring a Florida 2000-style controversy, of course), that will be added as well.

This is still a work in progress, so if you have any suggestions about recategorizing or creating additional topics for a certain post, please leave a comment or email me using the link in the upper right sidebar. Cash donations and gin fizzes also welcome.

Happy Snarking!
--Miss Adventure

Annotated Topic Index
In the right sidebar are all of the topic indexes, beginning with the two Crap-O-Meters, then subsequently listed in alphabetical order. Be warned: posts are filed in multiple categories, so you're not going crazy if you think you've read something before. By clicking on the topic name (for example, "Cover Letter Crap-O-Meter"), you will be sent to the location in the main column of that topic's individual posts.

Links to Individual Miss Snark Posts
In this main column are each topic index with a link to each individual post (and its comments) in the category. They are sorted oldest to newest in date, though sometimes, links were arranged to bundle topics discussed in multiple posts. These are all listed by title, though date is included. More topics will be added in time!

Miss Snark's Second Writing Contest

The Snarklings open the floodgates of creativity. Miss Snark and Killer Yapp buy galloshes.

The contest, explained:
4.02.06

Miss Snark's Second Writing Contest



The contest's magnitude sinks in:
4.02.06

What the HELL was I Thinking?


4.07.06

Contest!



Miss Snark fills up the gin pail and attacks the pile. Buckle up, kids, 110 entries await!
4.02.06

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Some miscellaneous notes and the contest's mechanisms. Or, why word count is a precious thing.
4.02.06

Contest PS


4.05.06

Nitwit of the Day


4.07.06

Bat Segundo...Never Far From Our Thoughts


4.07.06

Contest Word Count


4.07.06

Word Count Disqualifications

Friday, February 24, 2006

Writing Contests

It's like Miss America, only for books! Miss Snark looks at writing contests.

Glimmer Train Very Short Fiction Award



Miss Snark Pleads No Contest to the Charge

Writing Conferences

Pack your stilettos and your manuscript: the whys and what-have-yous of writing conferences.

Writing Conferences


Writing Conference Roulette


Where are You Looking: Results


Hot Cross Buns, Anyone?


Fe Fi Faux Fumble


Writing Conferences


Yay! It's Fall!


Maui Waui!


Pass the Canapes, and Would You Like to Read My Novel


Live and In Person! Miss Snark!


Miss Snark Benefits from a Snarkling


Conferences...Again!

Writing

Miss Snark wants you to write well!

Miss Snark Gets Tense About Verbs


The Middle of the Bell Curve


The "Ick" Factor


You You Mugwump! You Know Nothing, You You...DEMOCRAT!


The Changing Room...Also Abattoir for the Unyielding


The Tipping Point


Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #4


Ideas aren't the Most Important Thing


100 Bottles of Snark on the Wall, 100 Bottles of Snark


Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...


Anachronisms


Backstory


Hobbyist


It Violates Every Rule in the Book


Stylin'


Do You Have a Square to Spare...of Writing Paper?


A Rose is a Rose is a Rose


Friday Night Books


Will Someone Please Tell Robert Parker to Retire


Ten Percent of Nothing by Jim Fisher


I'm Thrilled!


Do You Like Miss Snark?


Writing Groups


Miss Snark Pleads No Contest to the Charge


The Peschel Challenge to Miss Snark!

Who is Miss Snark?

Who is that dashing lady behind the Miss Snark mask? Only Killer Yapp knows.

6.28.05 2

"Are You Really an Agent?"


8.06.05 105

Show Me the Money...(You Can Keep Tom Cruise, Though)


8.31.05 196

If You're Thinking of Asking Miss Snark to be Your Agent...


IgotcherSnarkRiiiiiightHere!


A Snark and Tonic for Breakfast--Excellent Idea


Well...Duuuuuhhhh!!!


A Novel Idea!


The Perfect 10


Get Thee Behind Me, Old Ned


Miss Snark is NOT Joanna Pulcini


Mr. Clooney in Elevator with Miss Snark!


Miss Snark Incarcerated?

Valuable Resources

Books and guides for every Snarkling's Writing Kit.

6.29.05 8

"You Want Fries with that Plot Line?"



Writers' Almanac
6.28.05 3

Innocent (Rather than Guilty) Pleasure: The Writers' Almanac


7.09.05 24

Happy Birthday, Big Bad Love


8.03.05 87

Why You are Not Wasting Time When You Read This Blog

The Life of Snark

What's it like to be a lily of the field? Miss Snark: Behind the Gin Pail.

7.04.05 10

Miss Snark Confesses She is...Yes...Compulsive


7.13.05 26

Untitled


7.15.05 28

Agents are Soooo Busy...Crap


7.15.05 29

Busy? I'll Show You Freakin' Beezee!


7.18.05 33

Day 1: The Day Timer Confessions


7.19.05 34

Day 2: The Day Timer Confessions


7.20.05 40

Day 3: The Day Timer Confessions


7.22.05 42

Day 4: The Day Time Confessions


7.25.05 46

Rock On!


7.25.05 48

Editors are Fuckwits, Too


8.06.05 102

Park the Car in the Snarkly Yard


8.12.05 131

Vacation Announcements...Here, Have a Tissue


8.15.05 134

Sayonara, Snarklings!


8.28.05 135

Aloha, Snarklings!


8.28.05 147

Miss Snark is Glad Her Sense of Humor Survived Her Vacation

Submissions and Time

How long is too long of a wait? Miss Snark helps you clockwatch.

9.1.05 205

A Follow Up on Submissions-Timing


9.1.05 206

Snafus R Us

SASE (Self Addressed Stamped Envelope)

SASEs are sent along with your query letter. The agent will send her response to you in that envelope, so it's crucial. SA-Snark-E discussed below.

7.19.05 37

Stamp This!


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


8.04.05 95

And the Envelope Please...

Rejection

Congrats, it's crap! What it means and how to deal with rejection are discussed here.

7.22.05 43

Fuck Off and Die


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


7.24.05 45

P.S. Buy My Book


7.25.05 47

What the Fuck is Wrong with You People?


7.27.05 52

The Difference Between Scam and Slime


7.28.05 59

"It's Not Right For Us"


8.12.05 130

The Tipping Point


8.30.05 165

1. This Sux, 2. This Really Sux, 3. You Used Too Many Staples, 4. You Forgot to Enclose $20


8.31.05 188

Round 45


9.1.05 207

100 Bottles of Snark on the Wall, 100 Bottles of Snark


7.27.05 56

Questions From the Snarklings!

Recommended Reads

Miss Snark recommended these blogs, articles, and books for Snarklings. To be read after misssnark.blogspot.com, of course.

6.29.05 6

Portraits by Michael Kimmelman


7.04.05 11

Pay Attention Damnit!


7.04.05 13

Yet Another Winner in the Query Letter Contest!


7.04.05 16

Ready for My Close-Up!


7.04.05 17

Yes!! The Bookslut Says it Best!


7.08.05 22

Take That, Mr. McSweegee


7.09.05 24

Happy Birthday, Big Bad Love


7.11.05 25

Untitled


7.13.05 26

Untitled


7.18.05 33

Day 1: The Day Timer Confessions


7.27.05 55

Miss Snark Turns Green


7.28.05 61

C-Rap Rations for the Hippest of Snarklings, Part I


7.29.05 65

Miss Snark Retires to the Speakeasy for the Weekend


8.06.05 103

The Middle of the Bell Curve


8.07.05 107

Where are You Looking: Results


8.12.05 130

The Tipping Point


8.15.05 134

Sayonara, Snarklings!


8.28.05 135

Aloha, Snarklings!


8.30.05 166

Ideas aren't the Most Important Thing

Query Mistakes

Read these query mistakes, tattoo them on your forehead and recite them at night. Don't emulate these nitwits.

6.28.05 1

Honest to Pete, Do You Think This WORKS?


6.28.05 5

Previously Published


6.29.05 7

"Look Ma, I Did it All by Myself!"


7.04.05 13

Yet Another Winner in the Query Letter Contest!


7.04.05 14

Toxic Combo...Medical School and Novel Writing


7.04.05 15

How Much?


7.13.05 27

Another Wretched Query Letter


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


8.01.05 73

Oh, Just Step on My Heart and Grint It In, Why NOT


8.28.05 140

Miss Snark Sifts the Comment Pile


9.1.05 209

Order! Order! Order in the Snarkosaureum!

Query Letters

A query letter is what you send to an agent about representation. Queries are one page long (double spaced!), introducing the book. You as well, but mostly the book. The agent can tell a lot about your writing in your query letter: if it's crap, your manuscript might get trashed without being seen. Miss Snark provides an example:

8.05.05 98

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Snarkvil



Below, Miss Snark wades into the morass of query questions and quandries.


6.28.05 1

Honest to Pete, Do You Think This WORKS?


7.04.05 13

Yet Another Winner in the Query Letter Contest!


7.04.05 14

Toxic Combo...Medical School and Novel Writing


7.04.05 15

How Much?


7.13.05 27

Another Wretched Query Letter


7.19.05 35

"I'll Get Back to You"


7.19.05 37

Stamp This!


7.22.05 43

Fuck Off and Die


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


7.27.05 55

Miss Snark Turns Green


7.28.05 59

"It's Not Right For Us"


8.01.05 73

Oh, Just Step on My Heart and Grint It In, Why NOT


8.01.05 74

Is It Crap?: Round Two--The Cover Letters


8.01.05 75

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #2


8.02.05 76

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #3


8.02.05 77

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #4


8.02.05 78

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #5


8.02.05 81

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #7


8.02.05 82

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #8


8.02.05 83

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #9


8.02.05 84

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #10 (With a Bullet)


8.02.05 85

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #11


8.03.05 88

Why Miss Snark Hates eQueries


8.03.05 90

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #12


8.03.05 91

One Last Crap Shoot...Only 'Cause It's a Dire Warning


8.04.05 95

And the Envelope Please...


8.04.05 96

Where are You Looking?


8.06.05 104

Standardize the Query Process


8.08.05 111

Captain Snark's Log, Dateline Today


8.11.05 123

Novel #2 Done, Undone, Finished, Refinished, or Just Waxed...


8.12.05 128

Partials Will Break Your Heart


8.31.05 195

First Page Syndrome


9.1.05 205

A Follow Up on Submissions-Timing


9.1.05 206

Snafus R Us


9.1.05 209

Order! Order! Order in the Snarkosaureum!

Publishing Industry

The light of snark illuminates the practices and peccidillos of the publishing industry.

7.08.05 23

The Wave of the Future


7.18.05 32

The Only HP Post from Me...I Promise


7.18.05 33

Day 1: The Day Timer Confessions


7.19.05 34

Day 2: The Day Timer Confessions


7.20.05 40

Day 3: The Day Timer Confessions


7.22.05 42

Day 4: The Day Time Confessions


7.25.05 48

Editors are Fuckwits, Too


7.27.05 53

So, Who's Making Money Here?


7.27.05 56

Questions From the Snarklings!


7.28.05 57

Platypus Platform Platitudes


7.28.05 58

August Doldrums


7.31.05 68

"Is It Crap?" Part VI


8.03.05 86

Timing Revisited


8.03.05 89

You've Got an Agent...Now What?


8.06.05 103

The Middle of the Bell Curve


8.06.05 105

Show Me the Money...(You Can Keep Tom Cruise, Though)


8.07.05 106

"The Dirty Little Secret"...Miss Snark Wants MORE


8.08.05 109

Glorified Printers


8.09.05 112

Trends, Schmends


8.09.05 113

Good Intentions...Yes, They Pave the Road to Hell


8.10.05 115

Do Not Pass Go, Go Directly to Slushies


8.10.05 119

The Return of Returns


8.11.05 124

You You Mugwump! You Know Nothing, You You...DEMOCRAT!


8.12.05 129

Who's on First? No, That's on Second? What? No...That's 1745 Broadway

Publishers' Marketplace

6.29.05 8

"You Want Fries with that Plot Line?"

Publishers' Marketplace

Print on Demand Publishing: ePublishing and Self-Publishing

6.28.05 5

Previously Published


7.08.05 23

The Wave of the Future


7.20.05 40

Day 3: The Day Timer Confessions


7.25.05 47

What the Fuck is Wrong with You People?


6.28.05 5

Previously Published


7.05.05 18

This Guy Gives Snake Oil Salespeople a Bad Name


7.26.05 49

Ok, Ok, Miss Snark's Imperfections Revealed


7.28.05 60

E-Publishing in General

Pitching Your Work

7.26.05 51

Writing Conference Roulette


7.28.05 57

Platypus Platform Platitudes

Money and Publishing

8.07.05 106

"The Dirty Little Secret"...Miss Snark Wants MORE


8.08.05 109

Glorified Printers


8.12.05 129

Who's on First? No, That's on Second? What? No...That's 1745 Broadway

Money and Agents

7.06.05 20

Criminal "Agent"


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


7.24.05 45

P.S. Buy My Book


7.25.05 47

What the Fuck is Wrong with You People?


7.27.05 52

The Difference Between Scam and Slime


7.27.05 54

Pay to Play


8.04.05 92

Let's Do the Math


8.09.05 114

Let's Do the Math, Part II


8.12.05 127

Various Ways to Skin Cats and Fleece Writers

Miscellaneous

6.28.05 4

Speaking of Other People who Aren't...Well...Real


6.29.05 6

Portraits by Michael Kimmelman


7.05.05 18

This Guy Gives Snake Oil Salespeople a Bad Name


7.16.05 31

John Twelve Hawks...Off the Grill


7.20.05 38

Fuckwits Surround Us


7.20.05 39

Killer Bees...Biblio Style


7.21.05 41

Almost as Fun as Buying New Shoes!


7.29.05 64

Vid Lit!! I TOLD You So!!!


7.31.05 69

What Did You Pay for Harry Potter?


8.06.05 100

The Quill Awards: Miss Snark's Version


8.11.05 120

Call for Questions!


8.29.05 160

That's All for Tonight, Snarklings


8.30.05 177

Vaya con Carne, Dear Snarklings


9.1.05 203

The Snarkometer Retires to Mr. Clooney's Chateau

Manuscript

7.04.05 15

How Much?


7.27.05 56

Questions From the Snarklings!


7.28.05 61

C-Rap Rations for the Hippest of Snarklings, Part I


7.28.05 62

C-Rap Rations for the Hippest of Snarklings, Part II


7.29.05 63

"Is It Crap?" Part III


7.31.05 66

"Is it Crap?" Part IV


7.31.05 67

"Is it Crap?" Part V


7.31.05 68

"Is It Crap?" Part VI


8.01.05 71

Ya Ya Ya...Yer Mother Wears Army Boots


8.01.05 72

"Is It Crap?" Part VII


8.28.05 137

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #1


8.28.05 138

Is It Crap? #2


8.28.05 139

Diving Into the Crap-O-Meter Headfirst: Volunteer #3


8.28.05 141

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #4


8.28.05 142

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #5


8.28.05 143

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #6


8.28.05 144

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #7


8.28.05 145

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #8


8.28.05 146

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #9


8.28.05 148

Crap-O-Meter #10!


8.29.05 149

Is It Crap? Volunteer #11


8.29.05 150

#12 Takes the Stage


8.29.05 151

#13 Into the Crap-O-Meter


8.29.05 152

#14 Takes a Whirl


8.29.05 153

The Crap-O-Meter Celebrates Her Quinceanara


8.29.05 154

Crap-O-Meter's Sweet Sixteen


8.29.05 155

Crap-O-Meter #17


8.29.05 156

The Snark-O-Meter Reaches 18


8.29.05 157

Snarkometer Sucks Up #19


8.29.05 158

Miss Snark Runs #20 Into the Crap-O-Meter


8.29.05 159

Miss Snark Reaches #21


8.30.05 161

#22 Into the Snarkometer


8.30.05 162

#23 Into the Crap-O-Meter


8.30.05 163

Snarkometer #24


8.30.05 164

Snarkometer #25


8.30.05 168

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 26


8.30.05 169

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 27


8.30.05 170

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 28


8.30.05 171

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 29


8.30.05 172

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 30


8.30.05 173

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 31


8.30.05 174

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 32


8.30.05 175

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 33


8.30.05 176

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 34


8.31.05 178

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 35


8.31.05 179

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 36


8.31.05 180

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 37


8.31.05 181

Snarklings versus the Snarkmeter, Round 38


8.31.05 182

Round 39


8.31.05 183

Round 40


8.31.05 184

Round 41


8.31.05 186

Round 43


8.31.05 188

Round 45


8.31.05 189

Round 46


8.31.05 190

Round 47


8.31.05 191

Round 48


8.31.05 192

Round 49


8.31.05 193

Round 50


8.31.05 194

Round 51


8.31.05 195

First Page Syndrome


8.31.05 197

Round 52


8.31.05 198

Round 53


8.31.05 199

Round 54


8.31.05 200

Round 55


8.31.05 201

Round 56


8.31.05 202

Round 57

International Issues

8.08.05 110

Hot Cross Buns, Anyone?

Important Tips and Reminders; General Recommendations

Miss Snark issues pearls of wisdom about agents, publishing, the mechanics of submission. Important Nitwit Avoidance Tips inside!

General Recommendations
7.04.05 12

Yes, Miss Snark has a Little Addiction Problem


8.03.05 89

You've Got an Agent...Now What?



Important Tips and Reminders
7.04.05 10

Miss Snark Confesses She is...Yes...Compulsive


7.04.05 11

Pay Attention Damnit!


7.11.05 25

Untitled


8.01.05 71

Ya Ya Ya...Yer Mother Wears Army Boots


8.01.05 73

Oh, Just Step on My Heart and Grint It In, Why NOT


8.01.05 74

Is It Crap?: Round Two--The Cover Letters


8.02.05 77

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #4


8.02.05 82

Is It Crap?: Round 2, #8


8.03.05 86

Timing Revisited


8.03.05 87

Why You are Not Wasting Time When You Read This Blog


8.03.05 89

You've Got an Agent...Now What?


8.03.05 91

One Last Crap Shoot...Only 'Cause It's a Dire Warning


8.04.05 94

Miss Snark is Bored...So Fucking What


8.07.05 107

Where are You Looking: Results


8.08.05 111

Captain Snark's Log, Dateline Today


8.28.05 140

Miss Snark Sifts the Comment Pile


9.1.05 207

100 Bottles of Snark on the Wall, 100 Bottles of Snark

Editors

7.25.05 48

Editors are Fuckwits, Too


7.28.05 57

Platypus Platform Platitudes


9.1.05 208

Editors

Exclusivity

7.19.05 36

I Want Allllll of You to Myself--Thoughts on Exclusivity


9.1.05 205

A Follow Up on Submissions-Timing

Ethics

7.06.05 19

Telling Lies for Fun and Profit


7.07.05 21

Full Disclosure...Naked Snarkiness


7.24.05 45

P.S. Buy My Book


7.25.05 47

What the Fuck is Wrong with You People?


7.27.05 52

The Difference Between Scam and Slime


7.27.05 54

Pay to Play


7.27.05 55

Miss Snark Turns Green


8.02.05 80

So...Whose Life IS it Anyway?


8.04.05 93

Fact Checking...Yet Again!


8.07.05 108

I'm Not the Only One Thinking About "Who's Life is it Anyway?"


8.09.05 114

Let's Do the Math, Part II


8.12.05 127

Various Ways to Skin Cats and Fleece Writers

e-Queries

6.29.05 7

"Look Ma, I Did it All by Myself!"


8.03.05 88

Why Miss Snark Hates eQueries

Copyrights

7.20.05 40

Day 3: The Day Timer Confessions


8.13.05 133

Mr. McCartney: Can I Use Your Song?

Contracts

8.04.05 92

Let's Do the Math

Contests

8.10.05 118

Miss America for Books

Blogs

8.05.05 99

Blog Blog Blog

Agent Issues, Horror Stories and Cautionary Tales

6.30.05 9

Miss Snark Retires to her Fainting Couch with a Cold Compress


7.06.05 20

Criminal "Agent"


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


7.24.05 45

P.S. Buy My Book


7.25.05 47

What the Fuck is Wrong with You People?


7.27.05 54

Pay to Play


8.09.05 114

Let's Do the Math, Part II


8.12.05 127

Various Ways to Skin Cats and Fleece Writers


9.1.05 206

Snafus R Us

Agent Issues, General

6.30.05 9

Miss Snark Retires to her Fainting Couch with a Cold Compress


7.15.05 28

Agents are Soooo Busy...Crap


7.18.05 33

Day 1: The Day Timer Confessions


7.19.05 34

Day 2: The Day Timer Confessions


7.20.05 40

Day 3: The Day Timer Confessions


7.22.05 42

Day 4: The Day Time Confessions


7.19.05 35

"I'll Get Back to You"


7.19.05 36

I Want Allllll of You to Myself--Thoughts on Exclusivity


7.24.05 44

Snarking Sunday!


7.28.05 59

"It's Not Right For Us"


8.03.05 89

You've Got an Agent...Now What?


8.04.05 92

Let's Do the Math


8.04.05 96

Where are You Looking?


8.06.05 101

From the Mouths of Babes


8.08.05 110

Hot Cross Buns, Anyone?


8.09.05 113

Good Intentions...Yes, They Pave the Road to Hell


8.10.05 116

Do Writers Really Need Agents?


8.10.05 117

A Few Simple Questions


8.10.05 118

Miss America for Books


8.11.05 122

Top Ten Reasons Miss Snark Loves You


8.11.05 122

Top Ten Reasons Miss Snark Loves You


8.11.05 123

Novel #2 Done, Undone, Finished, Refinished, or Just Waxed...


8.11.05 125

Poaching Clients...or Frying, Fricaseeing, Filleting, or Fonduing


8.11.05 126

The Changing Room...Also Abattoir for the Unyielding


8.12.05 128

Partials Will Break Your Heart


8.30.05 165

1. This Sux, 2. This Really Sux, 3. You Used Too Many Staples, 4. You Forgot to Enclose $20


8.30.05 167

Everyone is Above Average!


9.1.05 204

Similarity


9.1.05 205

A Follow Up on Submissions-Timing


I'm Not the Right Agent for This


REqueries, Redux


Agent Buffet


Unagented Contracts


Speaking of Numbers...


Who are You? What are You? Do I Know You?


Medic! Another Gin! I Have a Raw Nerve Here!


In My Spare Time, I Walk on Water


How Long is Too Long, and How to Tell


And Now, for My Next Rabbit in the Hat Trick...


Does Miss Snark Do the Hustle?


Age of Reason--No, No, the Age of Aquarius!


This is the Road to Madness...Batteries Not Included


Miss Snark Takes You By the (Crystal) Balls


The Perfect 10


Doin' the Lindy!


It Ain't Easy Being Greeeeen!


Atlas Shrugged


Question Trifecta!


Playing Cards


Head of the Class

Agent Issues, Finding An Agent

8.07.05 107

Where are You Looking: Results


8.09.05 113

Good Intentions...Yes, They Pave the Road to Hell


8.10.05 117

A Few Simple Questions


8.13.05 132

And You Thought Miss Snark was Fierce!


8.28.05 140

Miss Snark Sifts the Comment Pile


8.31.05 196

If You're Thinking of Asking Miss Snark to be Your Agent...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

First Page Crap-O-Meter Posts: Links

The Crap-O-Meter: courageous Snarklings sent in the first page of their manuscripts for Miss Snark to peruse and see if their openings could snag the interest of an agent. "Is it Crap?" they asked. "85% of the time? Yes," she answered.

C-Rap Rations for the Hippest of Snarklings, Part I


C-Rap Rations for the Hippest of Snarklings, Part II


"Is it Crap?" Part III


"Is it Crap?" Part IV


"Is it Crap?" Part V


"Is It Crap?" Part VI


"Is It Crap?" Part VII



Miss Snark decided to give the Crap-O-Meter another spin:
8.28.05 136

OK, Let's Dust Off the Crap-O-Meter and Take It Out for a Hayride



She singled out these following first pages as ones that got her to read on.
8.30.05 163

Snarkometer #24


8.28.05 138

Is It Crap? #2


8.28.05 144

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #7


8.28.05 145

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #8


8.29.05 156

The Snark-O-Meter Reaches 18


8.30.05 161

#22 Into the Snarkometer


8.30.05 174

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 32


8.31.05 178

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 35


8.31.05 193

Round 50


8.31.05 200

Round 55


8.31.05 187

Round 44



And these are the rest. Beware of stilleto marks ground into their backsides...
8.28.05 137

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #1


8.28.05 139

Diving Into the Crap-O-Meter Headfirst: Volunteer #3


8.28.05 141

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #4


8.28.05 142

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #5


8.28.05 143

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #6


8.28.05 146

Crap-O-Meter Volunteer #9


8.28.05 148

Crap-O-Meter #10!


8.29.05 149

Is It Crap? Volunteer #11


8.29.05 150

#12 Takes the Stage


8.29.05 151

#13 Into the Crap-O-Meter


8.29.05 152

#14 Takes a Whirl


8.29.05 153

The Crap-O-Meter Celebrates Her Quinceanara


8.29.05 154

Crap-O-Meter's Sweet Sixteen


8.29.05 155

Crap-O-Meter #17


8.29.05 157

Snarkometer Sucks Up #19


8.29.05 158

Miss Snark Runs #20 Into the Crap-O-Meter


8.29.05 159

Miss Snark Reaches #21


8.30.05 162

#23 Into the Crap-O-Meter


8.30.05 164

Snarkometer #25


8.30.05 168

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 26


8.30.05 169

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 27


8.30.05 170

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 28


8.30.05 171

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 29


8.30.05 172

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 30


8.30.05 173

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 31


8.30.05 175

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 33


8.30.05 176

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 34


8.31.05 179

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 36


8.31.05 180

Snarklings versus the Snarkometer, Round 37


8.31.05 181

Snarklings versus the Snarkmeter, Round 38


8.31.05 182

Round 39


8.31.05 183

Round 40


8.31.05 184

Round 41


8.31.05 185

Round 42


8.31.05 186

Round 43


8.31.05 188

Round 45


8.31.05 189

Round 46


8.31.05 190

Round 47


8.31.05 191

Round 48


8.31.05 192

Round 49


8.31.05 194

Round 51


8.31.05 197

Round 52


8.31.05 198

Round 53


8.31.05 199

Round 54


8.31.05 201

Round 56


8.31.05 202

Round 57

Cover Letter Crap-O-Meter Posts: Links to Entries

The Crap-O-Meter strikes back, giving a stilleto to the throat of submitted query letters. #6 was highlighted as the best of the bunch.

First Post


Second Post


Third Post


Fourth Post


Fifth Post


Sixth Post


Seventh Post


Eighth Post


Ninth Post


Tenth Post


Eleventh Post


Penultimate Post


Final Post